Timber's Morning Coffee

What?!?!?! That might be the first question out of your mouth. HIV? A blessing? Really? Well. . .Yes. I know that there has been a ton of stigma associated with this diagnosis. You might be wondering why I would think that a disease that has the potential to kill me might be a gift. Well, for me, it has been and now I will explain why. HIV has forced me to re-evaluate everything in my life, from my relationships to my health to my personal possessions. Perhaps, earlier you might have read my post, " The Holidays are Not About Presents " Contained in that particular blog are some of my truths about the things that are important to me and the things that truly matter. For me, HIV has forced me to look at my health and really be mindful of what my body is telling me. I have to pay attention to the things that I eat, what I drink and what I allow to be in my body. It's super important for me to stay healthy. Before, I had the idea that most of us have: "It's no...

I have struggled with writing this blog for some time. I didn't know when the right time was going to be to do it. There have been many factors influencing my decision. My partner, family, friends, work, theatre, etc. It's been a bumpy ride and very challenging spiritually, emotionally, socially and physically. As I sit here in the middle of a snow storm next to my roaring fire in the comfort of my own home, I am mostly content. It feels safe here. The dogs are relaxing, the birds are quiet and I have the house to myself. I can almost feel like I am strong and nothing is changed. Nothing is different. Everything is going to be okay. But, four innocuous words, put together, could change that in an instant. You see, I have a secret. But I don't like secrets. They cause way too much stress. No, it's not that I'm gay. That's no secret to anyone. I mean, HELLO!!! Do you know me? The secret is even larger than that. It is earth-shattering, in some aspects. It is a...

I am regularly astounded by the things that I see when we get closer and closer to the Holidays. We enter a time when the earth goes dormant, but it would seem that the real crazies come out of hibernation.  It's those Black Friday shoppers. And now, it would seem, that there is a "Black Thanksgiving." Truly, it disgusts me. I see people being very hypocritical. We should be spending Thanksgiving weekend being thankful for what we have and the blessings in our lives, yet we see consumerism on a massive scale. Whatever happened to peace on earth and goodwill toward man? Oh, I think someone dropped it back on aisle 3 where they had to push an old lady out of the way to get the best deal for their already spoiled children. We profess to be thankful for the things that we have, yet we don't appear to be that way when we bang our shopping carts into other people, stab someone over a parking spot and get into a fist fight because someone got the last fireplace mantle be...

Recently, I have been turning toward the Beatitudes. I have looked at them from every direction and wondered why more "Christians" haven't taken to them as a way of life. The one that really struck me today was Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." All my life, I have been a peacemaker. (Well, okay, there was one period of about 5 years where I tried to stir up as much drama with my family as I could. . .but let's not dwell on the past) I don't like it when people fight and I just want to see people get along. I seem to have been born with a highly developed sense of compassion and empathy. I used to (and still do) befriend what my mom lovingly termed, "The Unlovables." These were the kids that got picked on in school because they were different. The kids that had no friends. I was constantly asking questions as to why people were being treated so badly and my heart regularly broke for the...

Okay, okay. . . I know that I haven't posted in a while. But, I've been consolidating. Purging. Working on myself. And here is the latest in my thoughts and opinions: So, this morning was taken up with hiking in the Woodbine area of Montana. We went to the trailhead for Sioux Charley lake and hiked next to the river. The snow wasn't very deep and we were bundled up against the wind. Our footprints weren't the only ones, but they were the most recent. There were occasionally fox, coyote, wolf and raccoon prints. Amazing what you see when you are looking. You see, Sioux Charley is our peace. It's the place where we go to recharge and to feel a part of something greater than ourselves. No matter where we go, a little part of our hearts always lives in that valley. We've talked about retiring on the Oregon Coast, but the path to Sioux Charley will always be our home. In the city, there has been a lot of pettiness, lately. There has been drama, noise and misc...