What Is Happiness and How Do I Find It?

First of all, what is happiness? Let's take a look:

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may also reflect judgements by a person about their overall well-being.

So, that's a step in the right direction. We now have an idea of what happiness may contain. Let's specifically look at three key-words, which boil down to two ideas. The words are: mental state and contentment.

First, contentment. Let's look at a further definition of this. One source defines it as a mental or emotional state that is satisfied with things as they are. WHOA. That's huge! So, to be content, it mean that we are satisfied with things as they are. That means, the body, the environment, the job, the spouse and any other number of things.

Contentment implies a certain level of acceptance. Truly, I believe that it is a daily occurrence. We accept that where we are is where we have chosen to be. We accept that while we may not have reached our goals, we are certainly on the path to them. There are many things to discuss about contentment, but perhaps that is for another post on another day. For now, suffice to say that contentment lies within your own hands.

Now, let's look at mental state. This is the state of mind that a person is currently in. This means it is mutable, changeable. It is a choice, from moment to moment. Again, mental state and personal choice is probably going to be the subject of another blog to dig deeper, but for the moment, let's presuppose that all people have control over their mental state. (CAVEAT - those with mental illness/anxiety/depression/PTSD or other disorders may not fall cleanly into this category. Mental illness has a massive complexity all of its own and is something that I am not qualified to address.)

One of my favorite sayings is, "Is it really a bad day, or is it just a bad five minutes that you are going to milk all day?" That really drives the point home. Many of us tend to think of our mental state as directly influenced by our environment, or rather, uncontrollable things outside of ourselves. This is a fallacy in thinking. I had this conversation with a friend the other day and I will distill it down to the finest point: You are not your thoughts. Have you ever noticed that you can watch your thoughts and emotions roll by? There is an experienced observer in the back that can see what you are experiencing. That observer is the real you. It is uncontrolled by things outside of itself. 

What is important to remember is that people do have control over their thoughts. They can stop them. They can encourage and develop them. They can go right down the rabbit hole, following a stray thought. They can direct them to the things that need to be focused on, right in this very moment. If you believe that you have no control over your thoughts, then do you really think that you could do a simple (or complex) math problem?

So. Let's put these two things together, shall we? Happiness is a mental state (choice) of being content with the way thing are, right in this moment. Sounds overly simple, doesn't it? It really is that simple. 

Happiness is a choice. It's not always an easy choice, but it is definitely a choice. You can create it, seemingly out of nothing. 

For today's challenge, answer these questions:

• Do I have food to eat?
• Do I have clothes to wear?
• Do I have shelter (a home)?
• Do I have friends or family that care about me?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then your basic needs are met and that is the very foundation of happiness. 

Stay tuned as we discover more ways to remind ourselves that we really are happy.