A Crushing Blow to Vanity

All my life, I’ve had crooked teeth. Well, since my adult teeth came in, anyway. Several years ago, my mother told me that during my Senior year in high school, I was given the choice of braces, or an oboe. Guess what I chose? Yup. And I thought I was going to go on and study music.

Fast forward 25 years down the road...

I’ve had a few issues with my mouth. One of which was a couple of tooth abscesses due to another chronic health condition. I’ve had to undergo regular root planing/descaling a few times. Now, it’s just kind of old hat to me. This latest time, though, because of bone loss and aforementioned abscesses, I am looking at extraction of two of my upper molars. Fortunately, it’s bilateral, so I’m losing a tooth on each side. Have to look at the positive - balance, you know.

I never really realized how vain I was about this. One of the things that came out of the latest appointment is that I am never going to have straight teeth. That is, if I want to keep all of my own teeth and not spend tens of thousands of dollars. So, here we go with a couple of extractions and maybe implants, but most likely a partial. 

And there goes the last of my hopes about a perfectly straight smile. But while mourning the loss of my potential toothy, architected, toothpaste grin, it really got me to thinking. Why is this important, anyway? Why is there so much emphasis on perfectly straight, so-bright-they-are-blue teeth? I get that first impressions are important, but there’s so much more than just a fake smile. 

With a good first impression comes a firm handshake. Along with that is good grooming and making sure you and your clothes are clean. It includes a confident voice and a friendly, open demeanor. There’s so much more than just a Hollywood smile. I think we have completely lost track of this.

Yeah, I’m probably thinking these things to make myself feel better about the blow to my vanity, but at the same time, we seem to be too focused on the superficial. This is where my belief in minimalism and my yoga practice start to come into play. 

I have a lot of clothes. Not nearly as many as I used to have, but still more than many people in the world. However, as they wear out or move out of fashion, I don’t replace them. When it’s time to buy a new item, I look for timeless and classic styles of high quality. Instead of buying 10 shirts, I buy two. I spend about the same amount of money, but the value is better, as these two shirts will last me 10 times as long as the other, cheaper variety. I also do my best not to buy clothing with visible logos or defining features from a specific designer. I don’t want to be a walking billboard for anything other than myself.

With the demise of two of my teeth, it also got me deeper into really paying attention to what my body is telling me. If the mouth isn’t healthy, it can lead to many other health problems, including heart disease. So, we get the mouth healthy, regardless of whether or not it’s perfect. On the same point, I started working on the rest of my body. Yoga is strengthening my muscles. It’s teaching me to move my awareness to the places where there are issues. It is conditioning the ONE thing that I will always own - this vehicle that gets me from the start to finish of this particular life.

This is what is important: maintaining your vehicle. After that, comes the driver. Each of these points intertwine and none can exist for long without the others. It’s all well and good to have an attractive package, but if there’s nothing to back it up, all that is left is gift wrap. The important part is what’s inside. Yeah, a little flash may attract a friend or mate, but what keeps them is substance.

Think about it for a minute. Think of your close friend, or your partner - someone you truly love. Do you really notice that they could stand to lose 5, 10 or 100 lbs.? Do you really pay attention to the fact that their hair is receding, or falling out? Do you care that they are missing a tooth, or that their left eye never seems to be looking in the same direction as the right one? If you truly care about and love them, then your answer is likely, “No.”

When people say that love is blind, they often lose the true meaning of that statement. Love IS blind, but it’s blind to the things that really don’t matter. It’s blind to the superficial. But love narrows its vision to see the important and lasting things. Love seeks out the enduring and timeless, even in ourselves.

Perhaps we should, too. So, goodbye, vanity. At least until I find the next gray hair...